My Birthday: A Whole Day of Small Joys.

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  Today is my birthday. I have been in this world for exactly 13,140 days —

ten times 1314, the number that sounds like "one life, one lifetime" in Chinese.

Lying in bed, I had no time to be sad about getting hurt, nor to feel lucky for surviving a close call. I just tried my best to throw myself into the right frame of mind — live each day well, soak up the love around me, review my mistakes while they're still fresh, carry out my recovery plan, get to know myself through the present, understand the people around me from the perspective of someone being cared for... so many things to do.

Past, present and future: I've never cared much about the past — I'm still young, with no time for wistfulness. People always say "live in the moment", but "the moment" is mostly fleeting emotion, not reliable enough. And yet, without a past and a present, what would there be to look forward to in the future? Is it possible for a person to transcend time, to live in the past, present and future all at once? Perhaps, seen from another dimension, the present is eternity, and every moment of life is a slice that runs through the whole of it. Like today.

Today, everyone I love checked in on me and sent their wishes; my family, after being frightened half out of their wits, pulled themselves together, made me three meals a day and were endlessly patient with me; my partners stayed by my side, took care of me in every way, and even put thought into preparing a surprise; a group of friends in my life whom I admire, even look up to, gave me boundless joy and care;

thinking of you all, my heart feels full and my soul feels rich.

Thinking back on the people I once loved, the friends I once thought would be friends for life, the people who disappeared, the greetings that stopped coming — I gently said goodbye to them again in my heart. I loved them, and I must have hurt them too. I hope they have forgiven me.

Today didn't go according to plan. I video-chatted with friends and sang together over the mic 🎤 all day long, the day passing in small fragments, drifting with the current. I happily replied to every birthday message, and then did nothing at all.

And yet, I was very happy. I casually filmed snippets of daily life. This is life too: no camera moves, no close-ups, nothing grand or sweeping, no mysteries, no epiphanies — just a whole day of small joys.

Just as the background music in the video sings:

If people didn't believe that their dream life can sometimes be very bitter

Comforted by a kiss, made steadfast by a vow, sorrow would soon be soothed

Lastly, let me share my birthday present and cake today — an intangible cultural heritage from Shanxi — a gorgeous big flower basket of huamo, decorative steamed buns, where even the basket itself is made of steamed bun!

The peonies symbolise "glory and wealth", the lucky bags "blessings in abundance", the apples "peace and safety", the gourds "fortune and prosperity", plus "rising step by step", "five blessings at the door" and all sorts of other surprises and lovely auspicious meanings...

I spent the whole day immersed in the joy of carbs.